3 Ways To Regain Power In Your Divorce

“Having power” means you have the ability to control and create positive change in your life. It also means you understand and accept what you want and how to go after it. Divorce can be one of the biggest tests of your power, leaving you tired, sometimes desperate, and lacking the energy to fight the important battles. Many people fall into this trap and lose the ability to take control of their destiny when they need it the most. Here are three ways to regain your power when dealing with divorce.

1. Consider alternatives. No one wants to let a stranger decide his or her fate. Yet, when you let your divorce wind up in court, you’re doing exactly that by handing your power over to a judge. Mediation with a trained professional puts everything on the table up front, helps you negotiate for what you want, and puts it in writing, so your spouse can’t suddenly make changes. Mediation also tends to be less costly financially and emotionally.
2. Be proactive – set priorities and goals. The realization that you are giving away control is an important first step towards getting it back. It takes a lot of work to reclaim your voice, but the rewards will be immeasurable. Take a step back and list your priorities for the divorce (financial, child custody, etc.). Map out your plans for the future and what you will need to make them a reality. Then, find an attorney who can help you achieve what you want. When you feel yourself slipping away from your goals, refer to your priorities and goals to rebuild motivation.
3. Stay on track; be consistent. When the pressure increases during divorce, it can be tempting to throw in the towel prematurely. It’s important to find an attorney who is willing to be aggressive, willing to sit down and work on a settlement, and use pressure wisely. You don’t want to wake up after a divorce and realize you should have fought harder and longer to be in a better position. Some battles are worth fighting and it’s up to you to figure out what they are and how your attorney can help you.